


Déjà Vu

by barkspawnvevo



Series: Conquer the stars [5]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, during ME3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 12:56:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5376041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barkspawnvevo/pseuds/barkspawnvevo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fuel reactors in Cyone are not working and it's Shepard to the rescue. Ever since the two reunited in the Normandy, Kaidan's been with Shepard on her missions... But she wishes she hadn't brought him on this one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Déjà Vu

**Author's Note:**

> So I was playing through ME3 (AGAIN) and got the mission where you are ordered to go to Cyone to fix the fuel reactor. It's my favorite one of the useless little missions, mostly because I feed on dramatic situations and always send my LI to go and help Riley's team only to reunite with them later. And because I'm Shenko trash, it's usually Kaidan I send and after so many pts, I finally figured out an in-lore explanation... Or at least tried to.

It was supposed to be just another N7 mission. Shepard had gotten a request to go investigate a fuel reactor on Cyone - a vital depot for the Alliance that had gone dark. There was no way she would've expected that she would stand by the reactor controls with Captain Riley on her headset, asking for reinforcements due to her difficult position with great possibility of being overrun by Reaper forces in the station. Shepard looked behind her, where Kaidan and James stood, both keeping their guards up and their guns loaded, ready for any Husks or Marauders possibly lurking nearby.  Shepard took a deep breath: she knew that accepting to help Riley would require her to send one of her squad to assist. Exactly how it had been on Virmire where she had lost Ashley. She couldn't make that choice again. Not with Kaidan being the other choice if it came down to that. James had been a wonderful friend to her, a better one than she sometimes felt like she deserved... But it was Kaidan. Her Kaidan. The one she had just gotten back. The one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, and forever this time. How was she supposed to send one of them to an almost certain death?  
"Shepard? Is something wrong?" Kaidan asked after noticing Shepard's distraught. He had a habit of doing that, even when she didn't know herself that she was showing any visible signs of her anxiety. _Damn him._  
Shepard quickly nodded her head in agreement.  
"Captain Riley's requesting for assistance over the comm. She and her men are in trouble, and I don't think they're going to make it... Unless I send help."  
James turned abruptly to face Shepard. "Shepard, that should be a simple decision! They need help, you got two squadmates - just send one of us, the other one can help you here!"  
"I can't", Shepard whispered, vivid images of the lush tropical landscape of Virmire filling her mind. She remembered staring at the cold steel door in front of her leading to the AA tower where Ashley had been doing her best to fight off Saren's geth army, then turning her head to look at the elevator behind her leading down to the bomb site, where Kaidan was with Normandy's specialists setting a bomb to wipe Saren's base out of existence. She had known at that moment that she would not be able to save both of them - it was up to her to assign certain death to one of her friends. She had chosen to go back to the bomb site and signal the Normandy to get the hell out of the way of incoming explosion. She had chosen, maybe with a slight selfishness of a woman falling in love, to save Kaidan. It had been a soldier's decision. Every one of her faceless authorities had congratulated her for choosing the Sentinel, the biotic advance of the Alliance. They had seen Ashley only as an everyday-soldier, a brave one perhaps, but nothing special.  
Shepard knew that it would be the exact same with James. There would not be an official memorial for him, he would just be another casualty of the war - one who may have faced his fate with courage by helping the needy but nothing more. Shepard glanced at Kaidan. It would be so much different for him. He was a Council Spectre now, just like her. If he were to perish, there would be an official announcement in Citadel, matters would be made to make his passing known to his relatives and loved ones. And she would be alone again.  
As she looked at the two brave men beside her, she knew both of them would be willing to lay down their lives to do what was right - which was exactly why she turned to them and announced that she was going in herself.

"What? No! You will not do such a thing", Kaidan loudly protested, "you think Hackett will be happy if you die on a yet another suicide mission?"  
"He's got a point, Shepard", James grunted, announcing his objection.  
"I am your Commander, neither of you have any stand to question my decision", Shepard yelled, feeling herself filling with rage. Did they not realize that she was doing this to save their asses?  
"James may not have the luxury, but I do", Kaidan said, steeping in front of Shepard so they stood toe-to-toe, her looking up at him and him looking down at her.  
"What?" Shepard exclaimed and raised up to her toes to raise her face nearer to Kaidan's so she could shout more directly to it.  
"A Spectre's only authority is the Council. So I am sorry, Commander, but I am going there. No objections."  
"That is ridiculous! You can't 'no objections' me! You are part of my crew, Major!" Shepard announced.  
"I guess I just did", he remarked.  
Shepard knew this wasn't an argument she could win. Kaidan was right: being a Spectre meant that he had to listen to no one else but the Council, and Shepard had repeatedly proven that even that was a definition with some space to be moved around in.  
"Kaidan, please", with her voice breaking Shepard found herself begging him not to go. She saw tears forming in Kaidan's eyes as well.  
"You know I have to", he said and closed his arms around Shepard. Both of them were wearing armors so she wasn't able to feel his warmth comforting her and telling her he would be okay, but feeling him close helped a bit. She wanted to take her helmet off and kiss him, possibly for the last time, but there wasn't time. And before the reactor was fully operational again, it wasn't even possible anyways due to the lack of oxygen.  
"I do", she whispered and clumsily tried to press her helmet-covered head against his chest. "Just be careful. Come back to me."  
"I will", he assured her. "But same goes to you."  
"Who's the one giving the orders now?" Shepard snorted. After one last nuzzle, one last chance to feel his body against hers, she gently pushed him away.  
"Go. They need you", she ordered him and re-opened the comm link with Captain Riley. "Captain, I'm sending one of my team to assist. He's on his way."  
A sigh of relief was the answer at the other end of the line.  
  
As Shepard watched Kaidan leave, James' sudden shriek of surprise brought her back to Earth and she turned around to look for him. All of a sudden, doors leading to the central chamber of the depot had opened and out blundered bunch of Marauders and...  
"A Brute! Take position!" Shepard screeched and blasted her shotgun to the creature. Lately, she had learned to master her biotic powers to a level where she didn't even need to fire her gun once during a battle, but it still was the easiest way to bring down enemies' biotic barriers. After making sure the Brute didn't have its protective biotic field anymore, Shepard started her finishing dance which she had performed so many times it almost came automatically by now. A biotic flare, causing massive damage to the enemy. A charge, causing the enemy to either die or get crippled from the massive force of Shepard's body slamming into them. And as a finishing move Shepard gathered all the biotic energy from her, including her barrier and created an enormous blast, crushing the any remaining bones of the enemy's body and possibly sending their limp corpse flying through the air like a grotesque ragdoll.

After the Brute laid still and shattered at her feet, Shepard looked around. James was just putting finishing bullets into a Marauder's brain, and the situation seemed to have calmed down. Shepard walked to the reactor console and initiated the final startup. The humming of the engines and hissing of oxygen being released into the station confirmed the operation a success. However, Shepard's mind wasn't at ease.  
"Talk to me, Cortez", she hissed at her personal comm.  
"The station's stable and secure. But there is no confirmation from Captain Riley's team."  
Shepard felt the cold feeling settling down at the bottom of her stomach. "What about... Kaidan?"  
Cortez was silent for awhile, as if afraid to say the answer. He didn't need to - Shepard knew that everything wasn't right by the amount of time it took him to deliver the most crushing words she had heard in a long time. "No sign from him either..."  
_No no no not yet please I wanted more time this wasn't how it was supposed to end we were supposed to have so much more Kaidan please I don't know if you hear me but why did you leave me alone in here -_ "...but my sensors are picking heat signatures by the shuttle exits."  
  
Shepard ran. She ran faster than she had ever ran, jumped over the metal containers (and possibly denting them) and slid under the enormous pipes running and delivering fuel across the station. The fear that the heat signatures Cortez had reported were nothing but more Reaper's pets hounded her mind, but the slight possibility of it possibly being Kaidan, alive and well, overwhelmed the fear by a hundred.  
And from the distance she saw the familiar blue armor covered with familiar blue glow. He had taken his helmet off and stood in guard with his pistol prepared, ready to take down any possible remaining enemies. Shepard took her hands behind her neck and unlocked the lock of her helmet, taking it on her left hand. She took the final spurt and shouted his name, accidentally dropping her helmet on the floor. She had set a requisition order for a new one anyway. He turned his head at the sound of his name, and a huge smile appeared on his face. He dropped his gun, opened his arms and catched her in his embrace as she clashed into him, lifted her up and spinned her around. To Shepard, it was an impressive feat considering the weight of her armor. She locked her hands behind his head and pulled him closer, opening her lips and closing the distance between their mouths. His arms closed even tighter around her despite the clumsy armors and their kiss deepened, telling to both of them that the other one was safe and that they had made it through another day. _Thank you._

**Author's Note:**

> Find me from Tumblr in  
> barkspawnvevo.tumblr.com


End file.
